Hello, Yugo. Nice to see you again. Thank you for the previous interview, even if it ended quite egg-bruptly. Last time we mostly talked about you and Kuon as a couple, today our readers have prepared more personal questions, especially since Kuon won’t be joining us today.
Sitting in the sunlit office, behind a massive hardwood desk, Yugo nods.
Did you find all the eggs, by the way?
I should feel insulted that you doubt my searching skills?
Yugo narrows his eyes in false annoyance, but the corners of his lips twitch.
I wouldn’t dare! *raising a flipper in confirmation*.
Soo, let’s warm up with some questions about your childhood.
What was your dream job when you were a kid?
Yugo humms, rests back in the chair, gray eyes searching the ceiling.
I don’t think I had one. I always knew who I had to be for the family’s sake.
And what was that?
A lawyer. My role was to provide my family with legal protection and gradually build a political career to ensure that protection.
A lawyer? For real? That’s kind of ironic.
Yugo snorts, then picks up a silver lighter, and twirls it between his long, agile fingers. With lazy confidence, he rocks in the chair. The sparkwheel screeches, but instead of lighting a cig, Yugo extinguishes the fire to repeat the nerve-wrenching process.
Well, you have to know the law to break it, right?
That’s for sure. So the next question: Do you want kids at some point or, maybe, a pet?
Yugo’s brows shot up. The lighter snaps again, cutting the brief orange glow.
Kids? *huffs* No. No kids. You see, I don’t carry any sentiment toward kids and don’t believe in eternal life through blood lineage. Also, I’ve already had such experience. I don’t think I could handle another Mio.
Regarding pets, my lifestyle prevents me from having an animal companion. It would be more attached to its caregiver anyway. I have enough dogs in my kennels, but I can hardly call them pets.
Interesting. Did dealing with Mio as a kid give you the inspiration for the white room?
Yugo snorts, then laughs.
Ha! I wish I had known about it back then. Maybe Mio would have grown up less of a brat, but no.
White torture for political prisoners was a common practice during the Islamic Republic of Iran’s regime. White torture was also used to convert people to a particular religion and brainwash ultra-patriots into betraying their countries. Isn’t it fascinating that you don’t have to hurt someone to break them?
Is that what you did to Kuon?
All merriment flee, Yugo narrows his gun-metal eyes. The lighter clangs against the varnished surface as he drops it to sit forward, elbows on the desk.
Tread carefully, Seal.
The seal gulps, shuddering as he nods.
I did not. I just wanted him a little more … compliant. If I wanted to wipe clean Kuon’s whole personality, I would have implemented all the aspects of white torture, meaning eating only white things, and having no windows, and Greg would have only worn white clothes and noise-reducing white slippers. No talking too. So you see, I was kind to Kuon.
Kind. Alright. Let’s move to less dangerous questions. Do you have any regrets?
Yugo’s cheek twitchs, but he relaxes back against the leather backrest.
What’s the point of regrets? Regrets don’t change the past, but no. The choices I made brought me here and made me what I am. I don’t think I’d do anything differently if given the chance. Any more questions?
Yep yep, the next one is a comment from a reader: “If Yugo were a real person I would ask him to tell his story from the very beginning.”
Anger fires in gray eyes as Yugo’s jawline sharpens.
What do you mean if I were a real person?…
I am a fucking real person.
*Shrugs and backs off* That’s what she said.
*Narrows his eyes* I’d answer this question if a real person asked it.
But since Nero’s writing my biography, I assume he’ll cover a lot of aspects of my life, past and future included, so you can read it in the following books.
Fine, moving on. Who is next on your shit list?
The person who made the previous comment.
For income? *throws lethal glares*
Well, I don’t mind creating one, featuring those who ask such questions, if you know what I mean.
How often do you watch porn?
Visibly relaxing, Yugo chuckles.
Why would I watch it when I have Kuon?
The answer is Never. Or never when he’s around, and when he’s not, I only watch homemade films, if you know what I mean.
Fine, let me ask you something less sensitive. Have you ever bottomed? If yes, when and who was that lucky guy?
Yugo cocks his head.
Are you for real?
*shrugs* Readers want to know?… *puppy dog eyes*
No. I was never interested in trying it nor do I have plans on ever experiencing it.
Why would I? Do I look like a fucking bird to you?
What do you listen to then?
My gardener. He has two hobbies, singing and tending to plants, but I don’t care about plants and he’s too old for real work, so he mows grass and sings.
Wow, you big softie. I always knew you had nice traits and weren’t a lost case.
What are you trying to imply?
Nothing nothing. Take a compliment with a smile. Now, what’s your D-size?
Why do you want to know?
Not me. Readers.
Yugo reaches forward and tears the list out of the wet flippers.
Give me that.
Gray eyes scan the questions, jaw clenches, then Yugo throws the paper on the desk.
To the one who asked. It’s big enough to make you scream. Finish up, Seal
Fine, fine, I’ll be good. What do you do in your free time?
See? A perfectly normal question.
A cruel smile climbs up the chiseled face as Yugo purrs in a honeyed baritone,
Hmm, I think I’m picking a particular interest in taxidermy. You have nice bone structure and good fur. Would look great in my Hall.
Eekkk….
Evil laughter. Flippers slapping in haste.